average life

I want to start this review by saying that I respect writer/director Mark Christopher for making Pizza. A lot of work, a lot of work, goes into making a feature film especially on a low budget. You have to really believe in the project to deal with all the setbacks (and there will be many). I could tell as I watched the movie that Mr. Christopher is in love with his characters and that he really loved in this movie.

I just didn’t like it.

Pizza stars unknown Kyle Sparks as Cara Ethyl an overweight teenager who had conversations with herself in order to convince her blind mother that she has at least one friend at her eighteenth birthday party. When the pizza guy, Matt (Ethan Embry), delivers pizza for the “party”, he takes pity on Cara and invites her to tag along on his deliveries.

They spend the night bouncing between delivery stops and attempts by Matt to help Cara Ethyl experience life. One of such attempt involves sneaking Cara Ethyl into a dance club and introducing her to alcohol and cigarettes. The two develop a quick love/hate relationship. Cara Ethyl accuses Matt (who is 30) of being too scared to do anything with his life and he retaliates by accusing her of intentionally scaring people away. The only problem is, she scares the audience away.

The problem isn’t Kyle Sparks’ portrayal of Cara Ethyl (although her acting is a bit stiff in parts), the problem is Cara Ethyl, herself. The director makes every attempt to get you to like her. He gives her quirks that he insists are endearing. Instead of getting contact lenses on her birthday, she simply gets a snazzier pair of black-rimmed specs. The proclaims that she is going to “light up Broadway” after she gets her medical license, of course. She is energetic and spunky, but retreats quickly when mocked by others. It’s in these situations when it seems as though the director wants the audience to stick up for Cara Ethyl and tell her to celebrate her individuality, but more often you just feel awkward and embarrassed. Cara Ethyl is so awkward at times you almost want to leave the room. When she is not being victimized by those around her she is being weird to the point of annoyance. She has a couple of great lines, but they are so few and far between that it doesn’t seem worth it. The only person seems to gain any connection with the audience at all is Matt. This is mainly because of Ethan Embry’s portrayal of the pseudo-liberal-intellectual loser and not because the character has anything interesting to say. The movie, like Matt, drifts along without any real direction and by the end, you just want the night to be over and everyone involved to continue on with their lives.

I had high hopes for this film. It was produced in part by Indigent which specializes in movies shot on DV and HD video such as November with Courtney Cox and Pieces of April with Katie Holmes, both of which were good. Pizza, unfortunately doesn’t compare. The editing is spastic at times and at other times almost glitchy. It makes me wonder if some of the cutting decisions were because of a lack of usable footage (hey, it happens), because it doesn’t seem to really serve the story.

So, Mr. Christopher congratulations. You made your movie. You poured your heart and soul into it and for that we commend you. I really wanted to like it, too. I think Ethan Embry is a great actor and enjoyed the casting of Joey Kern who also played “Shirts” in Sasquatch Dumpling Gang (check it out, by the way). I even lay in bed after the movie, unable to go to sleep because of my frustration, but it wasn’t any use. The movie simply isn’t very good.

Rated: PG-13, but you’ll probably only find it on DVD unrated.

[rating:2]