It’s been a while since I’ve done a meme. With this one you are apparently supposed to bold all the ones that apply.
1.Change a flat tire
Heck, yeah sucka. I don’t need no stinking triple-a.
2.Tie a bow tie
So, apparently gentleman=dork?
3.Carve a turkey
Um. I can make a paper one with my hand. There are scissors involved…does that count?
4.Open a bottle of champagne
I can twist off the top of a bottle of sparkling grape juice.
5.Change the oil in a car
Yep. I’ve done it a million times, but I don’t now because that is what money is for: having other people crawl under your car.
6.If asked, you know the name of a good barber
Crimpers on Monroe. I guess they aren’t really “barbers” per se.
7.Have a tailor who knows your measurements
What about a “Taylor” who knows my waist size?
8.Tie a bowline, clove hitch, and a square knot
Tie your own knots. What do I look like, Ishmael? …From Moby Dick…fisherman…ties knots…
9.Chop wood
Always go with the grain.
10.Shoot a rifle
I prefer to watch violence on tv.
11.Make a dry martini
Dry martinis are for pansies. And people who drink
12.Keep a checkbook balanced
What about keeping a Quicken balanced?
13.BBQ
Yes. I’ve even worked in a barbecue restaurant. Best Butts in T-Town.
14.Lay a fire
I won a contest once. No, really.
15.Change a fuse
Or flip a breaker, when the crap was this written.
16.Polish shoes
I know how, but I choose not to.
17.The ability to read stock quotes in the business section
Sure, why not.
18.Keep score at a baseball game
Um. Yeah, it’s not that hard.
19.Jump-start a car
Red is positive, black is negative….wait…
20.Know how to throw a punch
See #10
21.Own a tuxedo
So it can go out of style in two years? No thank you.
22.Know how to judge a new wine
With about the same authority as a “America’s Got Talent” judge.
23.Do your own taxes at least once in your life.
Schedule C plus estimated taxes! 1040EZ is for wusses!
24.Carry a handkerchief
I actually did on my mission. Then I realized it was disgusting.
I like this - I’ve got 15/24 - so I am almost a gentleman…what does that make the remaining 38% of me? I may not want to hear this
Depending on what they mean by “keep score,” 18 could actually be pretty complicated. There is a whole deal with stat sheets and tracking everything during a game using established symbols and whatnot on special stat sheets.
I tagged you in my blog.