average life

I lay here in my bed.
The air condintioner grumbles.
The fan whirs.
But that is not why I am awake.

Sometimes it’s not what’s in the Dark, but simply the Dark, itself, that we fear.

First picture is below.

I regret nothing.

The title is best read while impersonating Chris Crocker.

Poor Kirby Heyborne.  The “star” of many LDS films has gotten not just heat, but outright rage against him for recently appearing in a Miller Lite commercial.  Comments on the Youtube page and around the bloggernacle express disappointment, outrage, and even throw around doubts to Mr. Heyborne’s worthiness.

Here is a sample of the comments:

“It would be like a member of the church owning a cigarette factory, a bar or porn site. Same thing. He is promoting and supporting the Devil and drugs.”

“He knew it was wrong and still did it. Stand for something Kirby!”

“is he still mormon?”

“Unfortunately, his interview makes it sound as if financial need justified the decision to promote the sale and consumption of alcoholic beverages — something he says he absolutely does not condone. Actions speak louder than words. What would he think of a soldier that willingly participates in a recruiting video for the enemy forces? The it’s-just-a-job line simply doesn’t cut it.”

So by holding, yes, holding a beer in a 30 second ad, Kirby has become an apostate moral-less terrorist.  (And I didn’t even look hard for these.)  Um, really, people?

Acting is a job.
As much as we like to imagine actors in Hollywood as having a job that is all fun and games, acting really is work – a job.  We also seem to have the impression that an actor can just pick and chose which roles he wants.  It doesn’t really work like that.  For a tiny, low budget commercial shot here in Atlanta, we auditioned over two-hundred people.  Getting a national Miller Lite commercial is a big deal.  Hundreds if not thousands of actors were up for it.  A commercial like this can help an actor live for months…which is how long it’ll probably take to get the next bit role.  So, just because it is a job does that justify anything?  No.  But unless you are Brad Pitt, you can’t just pick and choose from roles to play (and Brad Pitt had to take a lot of roles that he would have rather not done before he reached the place he is at now).  A lot of people see commercials as different from normal roles because the actor is seen as “promoting” the product.  This is a very American idea and is the reason that huge Hollywood actors do commercials overseas.  Commercials are how the majority of actors, directors, and other crew actually make money.  TV shows and movies are so relatively few and far between that they aren’t usually counted as a reliable revenue stream.

What would you do?
You would never take a job where you would have to engage in questionable behavior, right?  Uh-huh.  Consider the following behaviors that if performed in the context of one’s job justifies or, at the very least, makes “gray-area” behaviors understandable:

• A soldier that kills people in the line of duty.
• An undercover cop that engages in illegal behavior in the process of an investigation.
• A med student that if often unable to attend Sunday meetings because of his work.

Too exceptional?  I admit that if an actor doesn’t take a part, no one dies, but how about the following:

• A waiter who works at a restaurant where alcohol is served.
• A high school science teacher that teaches evolution.
• An engineer that is given the task to work on the design of a bar and grill.
• A grocer that sells cigarettes and alcohol.
• A politician that signs a bill that he is morally opposed to in order to gain other, important legislation attached to the bill.
• An Olympic swimmer that wears a Speedo (immodesty!) in races.

Acting has its grey areas, just like everything else.

Mormons are overly concerned with the Word of Wisdom.
Kirby was in an Idaho Lottery commercial a few years back (if I remember correctly).  There was no outcry; there were no internet flame wars started.  When Kirby was a regular on a Fox sitcom, one of his lines included an overt sexual reference…there was barely a peep heard about it.  What’s different about this?  It was a beer.  Let’s face it, Mormons obsess over the Word of Wisdom. Whenever someone describes someone who has gone inactive, the first thing that is mentioned is “so-and-so drinks and stuff now”.  Even the Law of Chastity doesn’t always get placed on as high of a pedestal.  Is it important?  Absolutely.  It is the only standard for worthiness that we make it sometimes?  No.

How quickly we turn our backs.
I like how people so flippantly dismiss Kirby after the commercial.  Dearelder.com pulled him from their ads.  By holding the beer, he has fallen from our good graces, apparently.  I actually think that Kirby is doing a great job of balancing the demands of his job and his faith.  Hollywood is littered with Mormons that, for whatever reason, have left the Church completely (Kirby still worthily carries a temple recommend).  Did anyone care to notice that Kirby along with a few other LDS actors have a sketch comedy troupe where they regularly perform family friendly shows?  Or even the dozen or so LDS movies that he has been in?  Is that all invalidated by that one beer?  To be honest, it was one of the tamest beer commercials I’ve seen.  No half-naked women, no raunchy jokes, just the one beer, and apparently for that we are willing to crucify him.  We Mormons are real quick to abandon our own after they do something that we don’t like.

Our concern over our own image betrays us.
I’m not talking about Kirby here, but those several hundred Youtube commenters and bloggers who were so viciously denouncing him.  The common concern was over the fact that Kirby is Mormon and (in their eyes) is seen as bringing a bad image to the Church.  Their plan backfired when they seem to have not considered that no one knew who the crap he was.  Is there anyone who wasn’t LDS that had heard of the name “Kirby Heyborne”?  Heck, no.  But now, thanks to all the hullabaloo, lots of people know who he is, what he believes and to be honest, we don’t end up looking so good for pointing our hypocritical fingers at him.  They see us for what we are, a group of people so concerned about our own righteous appearance that we are willing to throw to the wolves any one of our own who we perceive as marring our carefully whited-wall.  I know.  I’ve been guilty of it, too.

So congratulations, Kirby.  I still support you and wish you success in the future.  To the rest of us, get a life.

Will and I found a seat at the Woodruff Center Concert Hall.  The website said that admission to the Atlanta Symphony’s Sampler Concert was free, but insisted that you needed tickets.  When we got there, however, we found that they weren’t even checking for tickets and people were allowed to sit wherever they wanted. 

I looked around me at other people filing their way in.  I saw people taking pictures of their orchestra with their cell phones and felt a tinge of snobbery well up in me.  They were probably only there because the concert was free.  I then realized that I had forgotten to bring the printout that told you when you were supposed to applaud.  I mean, were you supposed to clap between movements?  I didn’t remember….

The special musical guest walked onto the stage and we applauded.

The conductor walked on stage and we applauded.

The conductor was a short Asian woman and a long white coat that made her look like she would be more at home in a lab than a concert hall.  After briefly welcoming us, she turned and stabbed at the air with her baton.  The orchestra exploded into the first movement of Beethoven’s 5^th.  I’d never heard it performed live and the hair on my arm stood on end as the tiny woman slashed and jabbed at the orchestra as if she were willing an untamed animal into submission.  Her gesturing was so emphatic, there were a couple of moments that I thought that she was going to fall off her podium.

The orchestra finished the movement with escalating passion and the audience erupted into applause.  The old lady sitting next to me was smiling from ear to ear with pleasure.  The emcee emerged from backstage and asked how many people where there for the first time.  I raised a sheepish hand and Will raised a cautious one.  He said that the question “Who’s here for the first time?” was sometimes a dangerous one.  I realized that I agreed, especially amongst classical musicians – I knew that they could be a dangerous bunch.

In between performances by composers such as Mendelssohn and Bach, the emcee explained the benefits of purchasing a concert series by the orchestra with a tone that made us feel as though we were trying to be sold a cultural time-share.  He was usually brief, however, and the orchestra was soon playing a concerto.  The audience clapped between movements, so we did, too.

Just about when I started to fall asleep during the performance, it was over.  The orchestra played the last few bars with such energy that I thought the conductor and orchestra were going to tear themselves apart.  The audience’s following applause was an opened floodgate of noise and the old lady next to me leapt to her feet in a fit of ecstasy.  I realized that these guys were good at what they did.  Give you just the right amount so that the last thing you remember about the experience was the joy on an old woman’s face as she cheered and not what you were dreaming about as the conductor put down her baton.

but whatever.  So I’ve recently come to realize that the resting postition for my tongue is for it to be pressed up against the top of my mouth.  Is it like that for everyone?  I would assume that people’s tounges would let gravity take its course and rest gently at the base of the mouth.  The main problem with this is that apparently when I exercise or concentrate on something intensely, I unconsciously press my tongue against the roof of my mouth so hard that the top of my mouth gets sore (as it is right now).  Once again, I realize how random all this is, but what the crap?