average life

David’s GPS insisted that we continue on the Interstate, but a quick glance at the hand-written directions confirmed that it was our exit. David put on the blinker and merged right.

“Turn around,” the GPS complained, “turn around.”

We’d been driving for about forty-five minutes and were now surrounded by the trees and fields that carpeted most of the south. Atlanta seemed light-years away.

“I bet they’re stolen,” I mused, checking the street signs for the right one.

“Maybe,” David said idly.

We had spent the morning tracking down a couches that were up for sale on Craigslist. By the time we got to one yard sale, all that was left was a small futon and some old records. The next couch we tried had seen better days…or maybe it hadn’t. After telling the guy that we were going to check out some other couches (which we weren’t), we sat in the car deciding what we were going to do next.

“I guess we could try that projector guy,” I offered.

About fifty minutes later, we pulled up to the third house on the left.

“You know this is how it starts,” I pointed out.

“How what starts?” David asked.

“The horror movie,” I explained. “A couple of kids from the city decides to drive to the middle of nowhere to check out a classified ad that they saw on the internet….”

David laughed.

“They knock on the door and they ask, ‘hey, are you the guy with the projectors?’ and they end up running for their lives in the woods while a psycho runs after them,” I continued.

We walked up to the door and David knocked.

“It’s not to late,” I offered. “We just get back in the car and stay alive.” David grinned.

The door opened to a little old lady. David’s smile disappeared and confusion settled into both of our faces.

“Hi, is, um, your husband home?” David attempted.

“No, my husband’s dead. I’m a widow,” the woman responded matter-of-factly.

David’s eyes grew enormous and my jaw dropped slightly. “W-we were just responding to an ad about projectors on the internet….” David stammered.

“Oh, no, I believe you have the wrong house,” the woman said.

“I think so, too,” David said and the woman closed the door.

We both looked at each other, unsure if the other was going to laugh. We got back into the car and couldn’t take it any more.

We had never seen that part of the horror movie.