average life

Since it usually takes one of these things to get me writing on my blog again.

1. Do you like blue cheese?
We’re going steady.

2. Have you ever been to Yellowstone Park?
I worked there one (half) summer. Coolest place in the world. With the exception of [deleted by government].

3. Do you own a gun?
No. Unless you are planning to rob me. Then yes, a big one, that’s automatic or something.

4. Your favorite songs?
“Chicago” Sufjan Stevens
“Transatlanticism” Death Cab for Cutie
“Peace and Hate” The Submarines
etc..

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
No, but he does.

6. What do you think about hot dogs?
I used to live off them in high school…they were squishy underfoot. haha! Wordplay!

7. Favorite Christmas song?
“Hey Guys, it’s Christmastime!” Sufjan Stevens

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Gin and tonic. OK…fine… hot chocolate.

9. Can you do push ups?
If I feel like it. I just don’t feel like it.

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
What? Does it look like I live in New Jersey, am of Italian decent, and used to have a popular HBO series?

12. Favorite hobby?
Ask your mom! Burn!!!!! Yeah, I still think that stupid joke is funny!

13. Secret weapon to get the opposite sex?
Ha!

14. Do you have ADD?
Nope ADHD. Just kidding, I love pudding.

15. What one trait do you hate about yourself?
My devilish good looks.
16. Middle Name?
Why yes, thank you.

17. Name 3 thoughts you are thinking at this exact moment:
a. I’m hungry.
b. I’m lazy.
c. Looks like I am going to stay hungry.

18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday:
a. $280 worth of barbecue and sides.
b. A pack of toilet paper.
c. Someone’s credit card number.

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
a. Bottled Water
b. Do I really just drink water?
c. Pixie Blood (I think it is now a Coke product.)

20. Current worry right now?
I’ll never make it to #50.

22. Favorite place to be?
Where I’m not. Wow, that was depressing. How about this…some diner in the middle of the country on my way to nowhere.

23. How did you bring in the New Year?
With a forklift.

24. Where would you like to go?
Europe, or if we are really talking crazy, Canada.

25. Name three people who will complete this?
Wait, wait…. Is this a pyramid scheme?

26. Do you own slippers?
They own me. (Help me.)

27. What shirt are you wearing?
Umm, I think I am getting uncomfortable with this line of questioning….

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
I’d like to talk to a lawyer.

29. Can you whistle?
Listen …. Does that answer your question?

30. Favorite color?
Tan. Ha! Just kidding. It’s gray.

31. Would you be a pirate?
I don’t really like boats. Or pillaging…. Or large-scale murder…. It probably wouldn’t be a good fit for me.

32. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Who says I shower?

33. Favorite girl’s name?
What do you care?

34. Favorite boy’s name?
Are you saying you want to have a baby with me, because if you are….

35. What’s in your pocket right now?
Meat and cheese. It’s a hot pocket!! Just kidding, those are inedible. I’m in my pajamas rocking back and forth in the corner. No pockets.

36. What made you laugh last?
See #12.

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
They were always of the white variety.

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
thAt 1 2 muh hed win I wus 8

39. Do you love where you live?
We’re going steady (don’t tell #1).

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Oh sure, why I just open up my door and let you steal all my stuff.

41. Who is your loudest friend?
What?

42. How many dogs do you have?
One is enough…actually too many.

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
This should be rephrased to “Who doesn’t have a crush on you?” These things are always full of typos.

44. What would you do if you hit a deer while driving?
Get his insurance info.

45. What is your favorite book?
Um…book…booook…hey, can we wrap this thing up?

46. What is your favorite candy?
Steak.

47. Favorite Sports Team?
Westview High School. Go Wildcats!

48. What songs do you want played at your funeral?
“My Humps” by Fergie

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
I wasn’t doing anything, Officer.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
I hope the cops don’t find out what I was doing at 12AM last night.